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Resolutions: Dream It, Write It, Do It – Making and Fulfilling a Life List
By Michelle Vessel
Grocery lists, wish lists, to-do lists–sometimes it can seem like our busy days are all chock-full of high-priority tasks that only add to our sense of feeling frazzled, rushed and pulled in 20 different directions at once. Ever thought about making a list that could help you escape the crush of everyday responsibilities and achieve a greater sense of perspective and purpose in your life? That’s exactly what a growing number of life coaches and personal development experts are suggesting: a tool known as a ‘life list’.
The concept is popping up everywhere. Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman explored the subject with plenty of mischievous wit in the 2007 buddy flick The Bucket List. Then, in 2009, renowned life coach Caroline Adams Miller published Creating Your Best Life: The Ultimate Life List Guide and, with the help of her co-author, a respected clinical psychologist, provided scientific evidence to back up her claims that life lists can help average Joes and Janes realize even their wildest dreams.
Help or Hype
In light of the overwhelming enthusiasm surrounding life lists these days, it may be tempting to blow them off as just another wacky self-help craze. Besides, what’s the point of putting all of your wildest dreams down in black and white? Isn’t that just setting yourself up for inevitable disappointment? Well, yes and no, according to Steven Danish, P.h.D., professor of psychology, preventive medicine, and community health at Virginia Commonwealth University. This exercise can “help you learn to be goal-directed, or it may leave you confused because you don”t know where to begin.” However, most life list proponents say that the mere act of thinking about what you want and narrowing your desires down to a manageable number of tangible goals will give you a head start toward happiness and fulfillment.
The real challenge lies in distinguishing between tough but achievable goals and unrealistic pipe dreams. For example, if you’re 55 and have never sung a note in public, it’s unlikely that you’re going to be able to cross “star in a Broadway musical” off your bucket list anytime soon. On the other hand, it’s definitely within your power to sign up for singing lessons and plan to stage a recital at next summer’s family reunion. The scale of the accomplishment might be somewhat more modest, but the sense of satisfaction that you’ll derive from the experience won’t be. What matters most is the process of giving your heart’s desire a name and then working gradually toward it.
Drafting Your Life List
It’s time to roll up your sleeves and explore what you want to accomplish, understand, or experience before your time here is up. There’s no wrong way to go about the process of compiling a life list; in fact, experts say that the success of the exercise will likely depend on the degree to which you can make it personally meaningful and unique. Some life-listers like to set aside a solitary afternoon or weekend to brainstorm, making meticulous notes in a journal before settling on a final list. Others collect crumpled notes-to-self, ripped-out magazine pages, and other sources of inspiration in spare moments over a period of weeks or even months.
No matter which approach you take, experts usually caution that it may take longer than you expect to feel comfortable with the process. So much of our attention and mental focus is funneled into day-to-day tasks and responsibilities that it can take a while to get back into the groove of dreaming big. It’s important to give yourself the time and space necessary to really get flowing with the life list process. After you’re satisfied that you’ve dedicated enough time to the brainstorming process, create a written copy of your life list. Whether it’s typed into a computer file, handwritten in your secret journal, or scrawled on a cocktail napkin that you carry around in your purse, your life list needs to be a physical artifact that you can access and look at to remind yourself of your goals.
Tools, Themes and Cool Examples
So maybe you like the idea of creating a life list, but the prospect of sitting down with a pen and pad and waiting for inspiration to strike doesn’t exactly sound like your cup of tea. Or perhaps the traditional “things to do before I die” approach strikes you as morbid. If so, don’t despair; there are plenty of angles from which to approach the process of creating a life list. Here are a few out-of-the-box ideas to help you get started.
Virtual Inspiration: If you’re the plugged-in type, SuperViva.com allows users to create public or private life lists. And if you find yourself stuck for ideas, you can browse other public lists for inspiration (or just to satisfy your curiosity). If SuperViva.com doesn’t float your boat, 43Things.com offers a slightly different take on the same concept.
Themes: If you already have an interest in a particular hobby or leisure activity, you can use it as an anchor. For example, bird-watching enthusiasts have long used the concept of the life list to keep track of the rare species they have spotted or want to see in the future. Use activities like travel, food, museum-hopping, dancing, surfing or skiing to create a life list that will have more personal meaning for you.
The Granddaddy of All Lists: In an essay published in a 1993 edition of Chicken Soup for the Soul, explorer John Goddard recounted the experience of sitting down at his family’s kitchen table at the age of 15 and drafting a wildly ambitious life list that included goals ranging from exploring the Nile to climbing Mt. Everest. The kicker is, Goddard actually went on to accomplish many of the goals he set for himself as a teen. You can check in on the octogenarian’s continued progress at www.JohnGoddard.info.
A Lady’s Way: San Francisco-based writer, online-shopping mogul and blogger Maggie Mason has honed life-list-making into a fine art. Her current quest to taste 1000 different fruits and document the process landed her in a recent issue of Gourmet magazine. Other items she’s crossed off the list this year include overseeing a massive food fight in a San Francisco park and signing up for tap dancing lessons. Check her out at MightyGirl.net.
One more word to the wise: although life lists can be an excellent tool for helping you define what you want out of life, it’s important to remember that they don’t have to be set in stone. What you think you want when you’re 15 or 25 is likely to change as you gain more experience and perspective. The best life list is one that reflects the ever-changing nature of life itself and, above all else, helps you make the most of what poet Mary Oliver called “your one wild and precious life.”
