Staying the Course…Strategies for Continued Success in School

By Patricia Guth

It seems that one minute we’re celebrating the start of summer, and the next we’re knee deep in school projects and the never-ending battle to find balance between work and play. Now that back-to-school excitement has subsided and routines have become, well, routine, there are several things parents can do to keep their children on that path for success.  

Food for Thought

There’s proof that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. A Harvard University/Massachusetts General Hospital study found that students who ate breakfast had improved math grades, reduced hyperactivity, decreased absence and tardy rates, and improved psycho-social behaviors. Yet, 41 percent of kids skip breakfast at least once a week. Be it a nutritious breakfast or lunch, what your child eats is equally important as how much and when. Try these brain food suggestions from the experts.

Eggs and Nuts: Both contain choline, which is known to improve memory function.

Beans, Legumes, Fruits and Veggies: These foods contain brain-boosting antioxidants like vitamins A, C and E.

Tuna: The omega fatty acids in tuna may improve cognitive function, so a tuna sandwich once or twice a week is a good bet. 

Whole Grains: One hundred percent whole wheat bread provides energy that can last throughout the school day, especially if consumed at both breakfast and lunch.

Go easy on the sweets! It can be especially challenging during the holidays, but it’s important to stay vigilant about healthy eating habits. Excess sugars in candy and packaged baked goods amp up insulin levels and are used up rapidly, causing sugar crashes that make kids irritable and inattentive.  

Rules to Study By

When holiday vacations and visitors derail the brain train, kids are much more likely to get back on track if they’ve become accustomed to certain habits. Now’s the time to reinforce homework and study-related expectations. If you didn’t set them up at the beginning of the school year and find your child having difficulty making time for study, there’s no better time than the present. Be firm if you expect your child to do homework as soon as they arrive home. If they will be given 30 minutes of free time before studying starts, make that clear. 

Maintain age appropriate study areas. For younger children, a quiet place at the kitchen table or a desk in the living room to do homework is a good choice. Older kids can study in their bedrooms, but if you find they spend most of their time surfing the web, sending text messages and listening to iTunes, you may have to set usage rules or move their study space into an area you can monitor.

Encourage even younger children to keep careful track of what is due the next day and double check that all the work is complete. Don’t be afraid to ask your child if they need help, but resist the urge to stand over your teens. Part of being a high school student is learning to take responsibility for one’s own work. Experts note that as long as grades show that your older child is doing the work assigned, monitoring is probably not necessary.

A Little R&R

While it’s tempting to crack the proverbial whip and insist your child be a super student, a good night’s sleep is important for children of all ages. A study profiled in a 2005 issue of the journal Sleep noted that children who stay up late have more problems at school. ‘Just staying up late can cause increased academic difficulty and attention problems for otherwise healthy, well-functioning kids,’ reported researcher Gahan Fallone, P.h.D., associate professor at the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Mo.

Most experts agree that children between the ages of 5 and 10 need approximately 10-11 hours of sleep per day, with older children requiring between 8.5-9 hours. Unfortunately, younger children as well as teens often resist the need to sleep. Teens taking lots of advanced classes are especially susceptible to burnout due to lack of sleep, making it critical for parents to establish an effective sleep and rest ritual. Start by setting regular bed and wake up time, sticking with them as much as possible, even on weekends.

Other strategies for getting the kids to sleep include:

• Begin to lower the lights in your home as bedtime nears, turn off all media sources, including the TV, computers and cell phones and cease doing any vigorous activities.

• About 30 minutes before bedtime, help young children pick up toys and pack their backpack for the next day and get them into their pajamas. After they’ve brushed their teeth, tuck them into bed and read a story or two.

• Encourage teens to take a hot shower and read something pleasurable, aloud or to themselves, or partake in some other calming activity in the hour before bed. Even teens may benefit from being read to.

Whatever ritual you devise, stick to it, even if your child resists at first.

Stay Involved

Sometimes it’s tough to gauge how intrusive you should be when it comes to setting your child on the road to success. While it’s always wise to encourage independent growth for your children, it’s necessary to be a pro-active parent and watch for signs of trouble. Poor grades, emotional outbursts and behavioral problems could all indicate problems with a teacher or peer. If talking with your child doesn’t clear up problematic issues, don’t be afraid to reach out to their teachers, counselors and administrators to help handle any concerns.      

Back to School – Setting the Scene for Success

By Patricia Guth

It seems that one minute we’re celebrating the start of summer, and the next we’re preparing for the school year. Now that school has arrived, there are several things parents can do to keep their children on a path for success.  

Food for Thought

There’s proof that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. A Harvard University/Massachusetts General Hospital study found that students who ate breakfast had improved math grades, reduced hyperactivity, decreased absence and tardy rates, and improved psycho-social behaviors. Yet, 41 percent of kids skip breakfast at least once a week. Be it a nutritious breakfast or lunch, what your child eats is equally important as how much and when. Try these brain food suggestions from the experts.

Eggs and Nuts: Both contain choline, which is known to improve memory function.

Beans, Legumes, Fruits and Veggies: These foods contain brain-boosting antioxidants like vitamins A, C and E.

Tuna: The omega fatty acids in tuna may improve cognitive function, so a tuna sandwich once or twice a week is a good bet. 

Whole Grains: One hundred percent whole wheat bread provides energy that can last throughout the school day, especially if consumed at both breakfast and lunch.

Go easy on the sweets! A small treat is okay, but excess sugars in candy and packaged baked goods amp up insulin levels and are used up rapidly, causing sugar crashes that make kids irritable and inattentive.  

Rules to Study By

Even before the new school year begins, it’s important that parents review homework and study-related expectations. If you expect your child to do homework as soon as they arrive home, tell them so. If they will be given 30 minutes of free time after school before studying starts, make that clear. A chart on the refrigerator that outlines their after-school schedule is an excellent visual and reminder. 

Set up age appropriate study areas. For younger children, a quiet place at the kitchen table or a desk in the living room to do homework is a good choice. Older kids can study in their bedrooms, but if you find they spend most of their time surfing the web, sending text messages and listening to iTunes, you may have to set usage rules or move their study space into an area you can monitor.

Encourage even younger children to keep careful track of what is due the next day and double check that all the work is complete. Don’t be afraid to ask your child if they need help, but resist the urge to stand over your teens. Part of being a high school student is learning to take responsibility for one’s own work. Experts note that as long as grades show that your older child is doing the work assigned, monitoring is probably not necessary.

A Little R&R

While it’s tempting to crack the proverbial whip and insist your child be a super student, a good night’s sleep is important for children of all ages. A study profiled in a 2005 issue of the journal Sleep noted that children who stay up late have more problems at school. ‘Just staying up late can cause increased academic difficulty and attention problems for otherwise healthy, well-functioning kids,’ reported researcher Gahan Fallone, P.h.D., associate professor at the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Mo.

Most experts agree that children between the ages of 5 and 10 need approximately 10-11 hours of sleep per day, with older children requiring between 8.5-9 hours. Unfortunately, younger children as well as teens often resist the need to sleep. Teens taking lots of advanced classes are especially susceptible to burnout due to lack of sleep, making it critical for parents to establish an effective sleep and rest ritual. Start by setting regular bed and wake up time, sticking with them as much as possible, even on weekends.

Other strategies for getting the kids to sleep include:

• Begin to lower the lights in your home as bedtime nears, turn off all media sources, including the TV, computers and cell phones and cease doing any vigorous activities.

• About 30 minutes before bedtime, help young children pick up toys and pack their backpack for the next day and get them into their pajamas. After they’ve brushed their teeth, tuck them into bed and read a story or two.

• Encourage teens to take a hot shower and read something pleasurable, aloud or to themselves, or partake in some other calming activity in the hour before bed. Even teens may benefit from being read to.

Whatever ritual you devise, stick to it, even if your child resists at first.

Stay Involved

Sometimes it’s tough to gauge how intrusive you should be when it comes to setting your child on the road to success, especially with older students. While it’s always wise to encourage independent growth for your children, regardless of age, it’s necessary to be a pro-active parent and watch for signs of trouble. Poor grades, emotional outbursts, behavioral problems and agitation could all indicate problems with a teacher or peer. If talking with your child doesn’t clear up problematic issues, don’t be afraid to reach out to their teachers, counselors and administrators to help handle any concerns.

When it’s More than Teasing – Keeping Bully’s at Bay

By Hana Haatainen Caye

Bullying. It’s an all-too-common occurrence in today’s society. Reports from the U.S. Department of Justice reveal that one out of every four school-aged child deals with bullying at some point during the school year. It can take on many forms, from physical and verbal abuse, to cyber stalking, racial and gender slurs, to intimidation, ostracizing and public ridicule. In short, it is aggressive behavior aimed to intentionally hurt another physically and/or emotionally. While every child may encounter a bit of this from time to time, it’s the constant onslaught that needs to be dealt with swiftly, before it results in serious, if not grave consequences. Some schools have been proactive in eliminating bullying; however, it usually requires the parent, child and school administration working in tandem to find a solution.

Identifying the Problem

More often than not, children that are being bullied won’t admit it to anyone, as they are often ashamed, embarrassed, or afraid of being labeled a “tattler.” According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, some signs to look for include:

• Making multiple excuses not to go to school, usually in the guise of illness.
• Fear of going to school or participating in school activities.
• Comes home with torn or damaged clothing or unexplained cuts, bruises or scratches.
• Loss of interest in school and/or slipping grades.
• Appears sad, moody or depressed after school.
• Suffers from anxiety or low self-esteem.
• Has few, if any, friends.

This is not by any means an exhaustive list. As a parent, it’s important to check in on your child’s behavior periodically and address any and all signs that he/she is in distress. In few cases, children will actually admit to being bullied.

Family First

Whether you find out yourself or your child opens up to you, it’s important to be compassionate and understanding. Irene van der Zande, Executive Director of Kidpower, offers some guidelines for parents dealing with this prevalent issue.

Try to avoid an emotional, knee-jerk reaction to the news by taking a deep breath and silently count to ten. You want to focus on keeping your emotions in check before you proceed, lest you run the risk of scaring your child into clamming up.

Open up communication by asking, in a non-confrontational way, who, what, where, when and why do you think the bully is doing this, then listen carefully, without judging or criticizing. Do not blame your child for what has happened or ask him what he did to provoke the attack.

Empathize with calming statements like, “I’m sorry you’re going through this. It must really hurt.” Be careful, however, to avoid minimizing what happened by saying things like, “Just ignore the bully,” or “Everyone goes through this when they’re young.” You may inadvertently invite your child to endure the bullying in silence. You also want to avoid encouraging your child to hit back. Many well-meaning parents issue this advice to their kids who are being bullied physically. Rarely does this tactic work, and often it escalates the problem.

School Second

Once you’ve got the details from your child, engage in a dialogue with the school administrators. Do your best to avoid shouting or hysterical behavior; calmly present the facts as you know them and ask them to contact the bully’s parents. Generally, the parents are apt to take a call from the school more seriously than they would a call from you.

Ask your school to implement a strict anti-bullying program and, if possible, volunteer as a playground or classroom aide for a couple hours a week. If you make it your priority, they’re likely to make it theirs as well. If the school is uncooperative, let them know you will be contacting a lawyer. Their fear of lawsuits will most likely spur them into action. For more information on dealing with school administration, visit the HSRA website at www.stopbullyingnow.hsra.gov.

Working Together

The final step is taking action at home. Since bullies feed on vulnerability, showing your child how to present himself as invulnerable is a great place to start. According to Michael Thompson, Ph.D., Lawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D. and Catherine O’Neill Grace, authors of Mom, They’re Teasing Me, there are several ways to coach your child to confidence.

Tell your child to stand up straight and look the bully in the eye. This sends a message that he cannot be intimidated.  When he speaks to the bully, his words should be direct and uncompromising. Instead of saying things like, “You can’t hurt me,” or “You need to stop hitting me,” instruct him to say, “I won’t be hurt by you,” or “I don’t care what you call me.” The “I” message is one of empowerment, whereas the “you” verbiage continues to give power to the bully. Additionally, teach him positive self-talk, i.e. I am strong, I am smart, I am just as good as anyone else, I have the right to be here, etc.

Lastly, reinforce these lessons through role playing. In addition to strengthening the bond between you and your child, it will not only help them deal with bullies in childhood, but instill a sense of self-esteem they can rely on throughout their lives.

The Perfect Mix – A Balanced Schedule for Summer Break

By Michelle Vessel

Ready or not, summer is here, and that means the kids are outta school and ready for some fun.  Although the first couple of weeks are usually a honeymoon period when the little free birds delight in their unfettered independence from the classroom, it’s generally not too long before they’re spending massive amounts of time playing video games, watching TV or chatting on the Internet. What’s a parent to do?

Scheduled Chaos

While you may feel that kids are overloaded with stressful, sometimes overscheduled activity during the school year, making up for it by allowing unlimited downtime can actually do more harm than good. Research has shown that kids need a schedule during the summer months to help keep them motivated, disciplined and ready to return to the next school year with an attitude for learning. 

This doesn’t mean you need to cram every minute from sunup to bedtime with organized activities; this gives kids little opportunity to develop the ability to entertain themselves. What is important is that downtime is balanced by structured bed and wake up times, chores or activities that instill responsibility, as well as play time that releases energy, provides exercise and stimulates the noggin!  Evaluate the needs of your family, keep the schedule realistic and varied, and be flexible without becoming a pushover. Remember, this is summer vacation, so letting the kids stay up late for popcorn and a movie is perfectly okay from time to time.

Stave Off Summer Boredom

Once the chores are done and the allotted video or computer time limit has expired, you’re probably staring down a long, hot afternoon with a whole lot of nothing on the agenda. Here are some fun activities to pencil in on your child’s summer vacation schedule.

• Pool fun with a purpose.  Marco Polo can get old. This year, develop a repertoire of games to keep your kids occupied in the pool. A quick Google search for fun pool games offers suggestions from squirt gun football to nose pushing beach ball races.  For a take-along guide in handy book form, try 101 Cool Pool Games for Children: Fun and Fitness for Swimmers of All Levels, by Kim Rodomista. Alternately, outfit your crew with snorkels, masks and inexpensive trinkets for treasure diving, or check out pool supply or specialty stores like Brookstone for floating ping pong or pool tables.   

• Stoke their competitive spirits. Humdrum childhood games are infused with a new level of intensity when you’re pitted against a sibling or neighborhood pals in a heated battle. Bump it up this summer by turning your kids’ favorite activities into tournaments. Competitions might include ping-pong, jump rope, checkers, stacking cups, Go Fish or Old Maid, Wii sports games, bike races, or even classic field-day games like the sack race or three-legged race. Visit www.blankplayoffbracket.com[AW1]  for customizable brackets that make it official. Take turns with a few other mom friends and alternate activities at different houses, creating a play date with purpose. Don’t forget to schedule a spa day when your turn is up!

• Get your geek on. Spend some time talking to your child about subjects they’d like to know more about, and then invest a few hours picking up books, research materials and resources at local libraries and hobby shops. Set up a “learning lab” where your child can spend time doing research, whether it’s building a volcano or dinosaur model, investigating ancient cultures, tending to an ant colony or practicing sewing or knitting techniques. Check out www.pbskids.org/zoom/activities/sci/  or www.tryscience.org  for ideas and inspiration.

• Encourage goal-directed play. Have your child identify two or three goals they’d like to achieve by the end of the summer. Some examples include learning how to ride a bike, perfecting a tricky skateboard maneuver, playing a song on a musical instrument, memorizing a dance routine or landing a cartwheel. Schedule practice time for at least 20-30 minutes a few times each week. Have them perform their newly acquired skills at an end-of-summer party or barbecue.

• Get crafty. Whether you like to keep it simple or create elaborate projects that would make Picasso proud, summer is the perfect time to cultivate your child’s burgeoning creativity. Check out designer Todd Oldham’s 2009 book Kid-Made Modern for some easy, surprisingly attractive projects. Sign the kids up for age appropriate classes at a variety of pottery shops, Michael’s or neighborhood recreational facilities.

• Jot it down in a journal. Buy each of your kids a spiral-bound notebook to use as a summer journal. Have them write a brief blurb about what they did each day, and spice things up from time to time with creative writing assignments. You can find a treasure trove of fun writing prompts for kids at www.tooter4kids.com/journal_writing.htm. 

By scheduling prearranged fun and free time in just the right amounts, you’ll get the best of both worlds: activities and chores that will lend a sense of purpose and structure to the summer, and downtime that lets your kids relax, without being lax!

Talk to Me, Baby…American Sign Language for Mom, Dad & Baby

By Lisha Ross

 Imagine if the terrible twos didn’t have to be so terrible? If you knew exactly what your baby wanted, even before the coos and gurgles formed recognizable words. Picture this: just as your baby starts to form that heartbreaking “I need something from you” frown, she puts both hands up and begins kneading the air, like she’s milking a cow. With that simple hand gesture, you can breathe a sigh of relief as you give her what she asked for– a sippy cup of milk. No raging tantrum, no fit of tears, just happy parent/baby time. It is possible, and it’s well within your reach. Though the concept of teaching sign language to hearing babies has been studied for over two decades, it’s now emerging once again as more than just a passing fad. Quite the contrary, contemporary educators, psychologists and researchers are all jumping on the baby sign language wubby wagon with time-tested proof that the practice is helping young children develop socially, emotionally and intellectually.

The Proof in the Pudding Pop

Despite a common misconception that baby sign language delays the development of a child’s verbal communication skills, all studies performed in the last 25 years have been overwhelmingly positive. In a study funded by the National Institutes of Child Health and Human Development, Drs. Linda P. Acredolo of the University of California Davis and Susan W. Goodwyn of California State University studied 140 families with babies that were 11 months old. What they found was that, on average, 24 month old signers were way ahead of the game verbally, scored higher on intelligence tests and engaged in more sophisticated play than non-signing children of the same age. As they grew up, they scored an average of 8 to 12 points higher on IQ tests up to age 8 (the highest age at which these children have been tested thus far).

Additional research by Acredolo and Goodwyn, as well as Marylin Daniels, author of Dancing with Words: Signing for Hearing Children’s Literacy, and Associate Professor Kimberly Whaley found that signing also alleviates tantrums and physical aggression, enhances the child’s vocabulary, improves reading scores later in life and, overall, jumpstarts the intellectual learning process.

Science aside, signing enables a baby to effectively communicate her needs, wants and fears, can help smooth out daily routines, is a fun, physical activity, and most importantly, it can tighten the baby/parent bond. Jennifer, instructor of the Mom and Me Play and Sign class and the Mom and Me Signing Time class at the Helen Meyer Recreation Center says, “Nearly all parents and experts agree that the most significant benefit of signing with a baby is the eye-to-eye, heart-to-heart bonding that occurs while the parent and child share a learning experience together.” Everybody say aaaaaaaaah!

If the research doesn’t convince you, perhaps seeing is believing. Simply do a YouTube.com search for baby sign language. Check out Fireese, whose mother documented her sign language and subsequent verbal progress from one to two years old. At just under one year old, Fireese was able to sign more than 20 words. At 18 months, she was teaching her 6 month old sister signs all on her own.    

Baby Steps

The Mom and Me Play and Sign class starts babies out at 18 months, but there is no reason why you can’t get a head start on the process as soon as your baby is born. Even if they’re not physically capable of making the signs themselves, babies will gradually begin to recognize a connection between a spoken word and a hand signal. You can get started at home with volumes upon volumes of the award-winning “Signing Time” DVDs available at www.signingtime.com.Generally, babies should be able to form signs anywhere from 6 to 14 months, with the majority signing well before one year.

So what about teaching American Sign Language? It’s not as difficult as it may seem, it just takes time and consistency, says Jennifer. Her classes, based on the “Signing Time” DVDs, are all about repetition through songs, stories and games. “If a parent were consistently signing all the newly acquired signs during a six week session, both the parent and the child could learn 30-60 signs,” says Jennifer. “Like all language [acquisition], practice is essential, but can be accomplished naturally as parent and child interact at meal times, play time, bath and bedtime, story time, etc.”

To learn more about Mommy and Me Signing classes at Helen C. Meyer, call 455-7723. Before you know it, your baby will be hand-babbling all day about food, milk, water, juice, crackers, bananas, cereal, grandma, grandpa and many other important aspects of their daily lives. After all, a happy smiling baby is the most precious gift of all.

A Special Spot for the Holidays

The Cool Kid’s Table

By Lisha Ross

Holidays are all about food, fun and enjoying it together right? Well, those of us who were banished to the kid’s table well into early adulthood might’ve seen it differently, having felt excluded rather than special. Then again, it was still slightly better than hearing about CNN’s latest world report and eating with forks instead of our fingers at the adult table. If only that wobbly, folding card table was jazzed up a bit, we might’ve had more to keep us occupied than kicking each other under the table. This holiday season, let the kiddos have their cake and eat it too at a festive kid’s table. By adding colorful touches and some hands-on activities, you can put together a cool kid’s table that’ll make all in attendance feel like a VIP.

Set Up for Success

Generally, the kid’s table is reserved for those old enough to feed themselves, yet too young to participate in adult conversation, although teens might prefer to sit with younger siblings rather than the boring grown ups! Consider the age of your diners and set the table accordingly. With very young children, for example, grandma’s fine china and crystal candelabras probably aren’t the way to go. Instead, opt for seasonal paper or plastic plates, plastic champagne or wine glasses and battery-operated candles like those found on www.candleimpressions.net. The table will feel adult-inspired but without the accident-prone possibilities.

Placement of the table is also an important factor. Position it far enough away to give the kids some independence (perhaps in the adjacent room), yet close enough to see and hear the goings on in case you have to squash any tug-of-wars over the salt shaker.

The Fun Stuff

Providing a few activities to keep the kids busy before and after eating will help make the experience fun for them and more relaxing for the adults. You can go simple or over-the-top depending on your time and budget. Susan Doherty, star of the podcast “Six Minute Style” likes to go all out, and you can watch her set up a superb beach-themed kid’s table at www.sixminutestyle.com. Granted, you probably won’t be setting up a nautical table for Christmas or Thanksgiving, but most of her ideas can be adjusted to suit any holiday theme. Here are a few ideas to get you started.

Bucket of Fun: Whether you use a bucket or basket with a tisket and a tasket, these fun receptacles can be filled with crinkle confetti and party favors and placed at each setting or in the middle for all to share. Seasonal pieces like stockings or cornucopias work great too.

Color Splash: Ask your local butcher if he can spare a few pieces of butcher paper or pick some up at Office Depot to line the table. Supply crayons, color pencils or markers and festive cookie cutters for stencils.

Name Cards: Cut fun shapes into colored poster board and write each kid’s name on it with a sparkly marker. Better yet, let them spell out their own name with markers, stencils or letter stickers, decorating their tag as they please.

Personalized Placemats: Pick up a few cookie sheets from the dollar store and spell out each child’s name with letter magnets. A bag of extra letters and themed magnets can be placed in the center for sharing.

Delightful Drinks: Give each kid a fun bendy straw or stick candy to slurp up their hot apple cider or specially created kid’s beverage.

Cookie Charisma: Place pre-made sugar cookies in a bucket or bowl in the center of the table and set out tubes of colored icing. After dinner the kids can decorate the cookies and chow down.

Fanfare: Sprinkle each table with cornucopia shaped Bugle chips for Thanksgiving, chocolate gelt for Hannukah, or red and green M & Ms for Christmas; tasty treats are the ultimate, edible table-toppers. Add color and fun with shiny confetti, tiny dreidels, etc.

While younger kids might enjoy a good Dora the Explorer coloring book, older ones may feel patronized by the gesture. For older kids, swap out the cookie cutters and coloring books for a holiday word search puzzle or educational worksheet from ABCteach.com or Enchantedlearning.com. For groups of mixed ages, you can also provide inexpensive, disposable cameras so they can take fun pictures of each other. If they finish eating before the adults, clear the table of plates and liquids, set out a basket of holiday books and encourage older kids to read aloud to the little ones.

Cool Kids Rule

All that fun at one table is bound to rally up some excitement. As a parent (and particularly a guest in someone else’s home) it’s your job to remember that the kid’s table is not a free-for-all and basic rules of behavior should be encouraged. Throwing food, screaming, fighting and running around should never be permitted. Make sure you go over the rules with the children before they sit down; you don’t want to have to excuse yourself from the adult table repeatedly to ask the children to behave. Once the ground rules have been set, you can let the good times roll until the last apple pie crumb is devoured.

Setting up an amazing kids table may add a few more items to your holiday to-do list, but chances are you’ll have as much fun decorating it, as they will have dining there. Who knows! You might just create a bigger and better kid’s table tradition, giving everyone in attendance, young and old, fond memories that’ll last a lifetime.